The key to a happy marriage

Posted: October 21, 2013 in Pro Tips
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Everyone assumes there’s some kind of secret to making a marriage last, and I’m here to tell you, of course there is, and this is it: Have a pass list. A lot of problems arise in relationships because of jealousy, and I’ve found in my marriage the best way to avoid awkward discussions when one of you inadvertently notices an attractive person is to be honest with each other. For most, it’s enough to understand that, while you love your metaphorical Ford Focus and would never want to go for a ride in another car, there’s no harm in admiring any Ferraris or Lamborghinis that pass by you. For us however, we’ve taken it a step further and have each compiled a “pass list”, or to keep the car metaphor going, a list of vehicles we are allowed to take for a spin, should the opportunity arise.

The pass list is a list of people whom we have agreed upon, mostly celebrities, that each of us can get a pass for extramarital romantic activity up to and including sex, with no repercussions should the rare opportunity arise. The individuals who populate this list are chosen and permitted for the unlikelihood of encountering them, because the regret of not taking up the opportunity would be worse than going through with it.


The lists can change and grow regularly, but here are the current lineups:


My Wife’s Pass List

  • Alexander Skarsgard
  • Tom Hiddleston
  • Seth MacFarlane
  • Simon Pegg
  • David Tennant
  • Kit Harington
  • Joe Manganiello
  • Johnny Depp
  • Justin Furstenfeld
  • Andy LaPlegua
  • (I know there’s more, but these are all that come to mind at the moment.)


My Pass List

  • Time-Traveling 1980′s Molly Ringwald
  • Patrick Stewart
  • Enchanted-esque cartoon-to-reality (or vice versa) Ariel from The Little Mermaid
  • Same as above, but with Merida from Brave
  • Simon Pegg
  • Christina Hendricks
  • Karen Gillan
  • David Tennant
  • Alyson Hannigan
  • Time-Traveling 1980′s David Bowie
  • Deborah Ann Woll
  • John Barrowman
  • Emma Stone
  • Emma Watson
  • Stephanie Courtney (Only if dressed as Flo from the Progressive commercials)
  • Morgan Smith Goodwin
  • (Again, probably more, but these are all I can think of right now.)


There you have it, the secret to a happy marriage. One final note: The only caveat to these lists is that in the event that either of us has a romantic opportunity with one of our overlapping list members, that the other must be invited for a threesome.

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Triple Crit

Posted: October 9, 2013 in Site Plugs

Hey everyone, quick post today, just wanted to share a link you might like:

Triple Crit: Writing, Role-playing, and Gamemasting

This is a great blog from an acquaintance of mine, who happens to also be a producer for Fantasy Flight Games. Lot’s of great tips for RP enthusiasts and wannabe writers (like myself). Go check her out if you’re interested in some game learnin’.

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To provide a better context for future project updates, I’m going to post a few overviews of some of the major projects I’m working on. Here’s today’s project:

Ballistic: A Modern Tactical Roleplaying Game

Ballistic is my attempt to create a gaming system that incorporates the flexibility of systems like d20, but is streamlined enough to provide quick setup, and fast gameplay. The impetus for this project was my desire to play an RPG that could accurately reflect the feeling of action films. Attempting to play a game based on something like James Bond or Die Hard would be difficult with d20 because of all the extensive stats and rules players need to remember, and working with that system would slow down the gameplay to the point where it loses the intensity those films have.

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Hey everyone, and welcome back to another exciting installment of Then Ninja Jedi. Expanding on a Facebook conversation I had last week, today’s subject is: Disney Princesses. You may be asking, “Robert, why do you, a 28-year old man with no children, care about Disney princesses?” Well the answer of course is “Shut your face, Disney is a cultural icon, and there are some major inconsistencies in the Disney Princess line that need addressing.”

Before I proceed, I’m going to put a pin in the obvious. The Disney Princess brand is thoroughly researched and vetted by a brain trust of marketing gurus and child psychologists, and is engineered by these soulless executive types to make the most money possible through sales of toys, clothes, lunchboxes, and anything else pink. So I don’t want to hear any comments about that being the reasoning for the lineup, I already know it.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s first look at the current lineup of Disney Princesses.

The official list is Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel and Merida. But there are some real issues with this list. Some of these girls are not in fact princesses, and one is not properly a Disney character. I’d say of this list, the percentage that should be on the list is about 2/3.

“What do you mean they’re not all princesses?” Here’s my reasoning: Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, and Rapunzel can stay. Snow White, Aurora, Ariel, Jasmine and Rapunzel are shoe-ins because they are royal by birth. And despite being mundane things like scullery maids and bibliophile inventor’s daughters throughout their films, Cinderella, and Belle can stay because they married princes, either during or canonically after their films.

Pocahontas, Mulan, and Tiana, get kicked out for never being princesses; Pocahontas was a chieftain’s daughter, which isn’t the same thing, Mulan was never remotely considered a princess, and Tiana married a prince who abdicated his position. Merida shouldn’t even be in the conversation because she’s a Pixar princess, not Disney. Yes, Disney owns Pixar, but to be a Disney Princess, you should have to be in an official Disney theatrical animated feature.

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Howdy all, and thanks for checking out my new blog!

For those who don’t know me, hello, my name is Robert, but while you’re here, you can call me the Ninja Jedi. Want to get to know me a bit better? Check out the about page, that’s what it’s there for.

The Ninja Jedi is guaranteed to be at least 75% more entertaining and more than 50% less depressing than my old blog. What’s on tap here will be a variety show of my art, stories, project updates, and my general musings on any number of other miscellaneous topics. I’ll be aiming for a roughly weekly posting schedule, but I’ll probably be straying from that, either posting more or less frequently depending on what’s going on with my life in the real world.

To start with today, I’ll be sharing my list of projects, and their current status. My active projects will also be listed on the “Projects’ Status” page linked on the top menu, and when I note an update here in a post, I’ll update that page as well.

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